I am twenty years old. I am a gay Latino student. I haven’t held a baby yet, though I did panic when my gummy-bear vape nearly slipped through my fingers at a recent SXSW event. I found myself in the SHE Media Co-Lab, surrounded by a sea of moms and middle-aged women who seemed to know things I definitely do not know.
Turns out, I learned more than I expected.
“I’m not willing to make mywhole life be something that I’mjust trying to get through.”
— Gabby Reece
Former pro beach volleyball player Gabby Reece led the room through a breathing exercise. Close eyes. Inhale. Exhale. I thought it might be weird. Then, unexpectedly, I felt calm.
It worked. Better than the fruit-flavored aerosol I usually chase anyway. Or the Friday night vodka cranberry spiral. I still use it now. Reece made a point I couldn’t ignore: why do we spend our days just waiting for them to end? I feel that. Sometimes I just want to stop being the “busy bee” at school, crawl into bed, and rot. Or drink at a bar. But life isn’t just a checklist.
She talked about small moments. The stuff we miss because we are too busy running. So I’m stepping outside. Touching grass. Listening to birds. You should too.
Then came Emily Morse. Author. Sex therapist. She told the room to schedule sex.
Really?
Yes. Really. I know how it sounds. Jotting “oral fixation” onto your calendar right after the five o’clock meeting seems clinical. Maybe unromantic. But here’s the truth. We all have needs. Whether you are a mom chasing two toddlers or a broke undergrad applying for internships, time is scarce. Kids’ soccer games don’t wait. Neither does stress.
By picking a time that actually works for both people, you give yourselves something to anticipate. It removes the guesswork. Does it kill spontaneity? Probably not entirely. Morse wasn’t asking for a rigid contract. She was suggesting structure. Just a little structure makes everything else breathe a bit easier.
Why complicate connection when you can just put it on the calendar?
These panels stuck with me. There were plenty of other talks at the festival. Hundreds. But Reece and Morse resonated. I want to write about sex and health. I dream of being the next Carrie Bradshaw. Sex and the City but with actual journalism degrees, I hope. Kat Steinberg, SHE Media’s editor-in-chief, gave me a hint that maybe that’s a viable path. There’s room at the table for topics people usually avoid discussing during Sunday dinner.
I like vegetables. I like sexual health information. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
Jorge Espinoza is wrapping up his journalism major at UT Austin. He writes about pop culture, sex, and the weird gaps between the two. He’s inspired by a fictional columnist named Carrie. We’re all figuring it out as we go, aren’t we.
